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Getting Along on Popular Mountain Project Threads

Original Post
brick · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2014 · Points: 5

Many classic threads have become crowded with lines of climbers wanting to show off how big their internetdick is. There tend to be climbers who are very aware of others and want to make sure everyone is having a good time, and then there are a few who tend not to be as aware, and can have a negative affect on everyone else out there that day.

Just today, I witnessed a group of four young women posting in one group trolling their way up a popular thread with many folks waiting behind. They posted two articles about feminism - the men were very stressed, barking and whining. The folks on the thread were trying to console the men with food and petting, but nothing was working. I had already finished the route and was rappelling down. I mentioned to the women that they might want to post more evidence to take care of the men - they didn't really seem to care.

Over 25 years of posting, I have seen many situations like this. A mountain project user has pissed on my thread about Smith Rock while the mods continued to belay and climb with no apparent remorse. A friend of mine got involved in a rescue on for sale forum because a team of two was selling cams and trying to rip off the 5-6 gumbies already on the thread. The purchasing climber took off to the paypal and tried to pay and ended up taking an 80-dollar loss, getting really badly hurt, and requiring everyone on the web site to stop what they were doing to rescue him.

I am an unemployed loser and a guide, so I spend a lot of time on the internet. I am often the first person posting and the last one awake (I tend to get up early to beat the crowds to avoid getting entangled in many of the below situations), but I still end up seeing other nerds getting in trouble, compromising other people's safety, or simply making the experience of the internet that day unenjoyable for everyone else. And, when I began posting, I definitely did my fair share of being "that guy," too!

Here are some things I'd like to share about how I try to approach the internet to make the day go smoothly for me, and for others, as well as some things that have been stated many times in climbing magazines, online chats, and among the climbing communities I have been a part of...

1. Dogs. Everyone hates dogs.

2. Parties of two. Are always slower than a soloist.

3. Keep the flow going. And pee on the route.

4. Let Others Pass. Or not, because fuck them.

5. Don't Always Expect to Pass. Just do it anyways.

6. Take Advice From Others. Especially on mountain project where everyone thinks they're a guide.

7. Guides & Mentors. Are overrated buy a book.

BTW: Here is a quick list of threads that are classic dogshit:

1. Getting along on popular multi-pitch routes
2. Flash foxy article
3. Response to flash foxy article
4. Anything about alex honnold
5. anything about knots
6. and so many more...

Jacob Smith · · Seattle, WA · Joined Aug 2013 · Points: 230

Taking male climbers to a crag is always such a toss up, some are ok but many will just get upset by the yoga pants and climbers that are stronger than them, this can be very stressful and lead to all sorts of unfortunate situations. It's often a better idea to just leave them at home, they'll have more fun hangboarding and jerking off anyways.

Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 65
brick wrote:Many classic threads have become crowded with lines of climbers wanting to show off how big their internetdick is. There tend to be climbers who are very aware of others and want to make sure everyone is having a good time, and then there are a few who tend not to be as aware, and can have a negative affect on everyone else out there that day. Just today, I witnessed a group of four young women posting in one group trolling their way up a popular thread with many folks waiting behind. They posted two articles about feminism - the men were very stressed, barking and whining. The folks on the thread were trying to console the men with food and petting, but nothing was working. I had already finished the route and was rappelling down. I mentioned to the women that they might want to post more evidence to take care of the men - they didn't really seem to care. Over 25 years of posting, I have seen many situations like this. A mountain project used has pissed on my thread about Smith Rock while the mods continued to belay and climb with no apparent remorse. A friend of mine got involved in a rescue on for sale forum because a team of two was selling cams and trying to rip off the 5-6 gumbies already on the thread. The purchasing climber took off to the paypal and tried to pay and ended up taking an 80-dollar lossr, getting really badly hurt, and requiring everyone on the web site to stop what they were doing to rescue him. I am an unemployed looser and a guide, so I spend a lot of time on the internet. I am often the first person posting and the last one awake (I tend to get up early to beat the crowds to avoid getting entangled in many of the below situations), but I still end up seeing other nerds getting in trouble, compromising other people's safety, or simply making the experience of the internet that day unenjoyable for everyone else. And, when I began posting, I definitely did my fair share of being "that guy," too! Here are some things I'd like to share about how I try to approach the internet to make the day go smoothly for me, and for others, as well as some things that have been stated many times in climbing magazines, online chats, and among the climbing communities I have been a part of... 1. Dogs. Everyone hates dogs 2. Parties of two. Are always slower than a solist 3. Keep the flow going. And pee on the route 4. Let Others Pass. or not, because fuck them 5. Don't Always Expect to Pass. Just do it anyways 6. Take Advice From Others. Especially on mountain project where everyone thinks theyre a guide 7. Guides & Mentors. are overrated buy a book BTW: Here is a quick list of threads that are classic dogshit 1. Getting along on popular multi-pitch routes 2. Flash foxy article 3. Response to flash foxy article 4. Anything about alex honnold 5. anything about knots 16. and so many more...
You're being a jerk.
;-)
Danger-Russ Gordon · · Salt Lake City, UT · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 590

can I just say, I love this thread. Thank you for using/wasting your time for our entertainment :)

Chad Miller · · Grand Junction, CO · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 150

You all can bite my shiny metal ass

Colonel Mustard · · Sacramento, CA · Joined Sep 2005 · Points: 1,241

Is this where I reply without first reading wall of text?

tim · · Boulder, CO · Joined Aug 2006 · Points: 507
Jacob Smith wrote:Taking male climbers to a crag is always such a toss up, some are ok but many will just get upset by the yoga pants and climbers that are stronger than them, this can be very stressful and lead to all sorts of unfortunate situations. It's often a better idea to just leave them at home, they'll have more fun hangboarding and jerking off anyways.
Awesome
Russ Keane · · Salt Lake · Joined Feb 2013 · Points: 392

hahahhahah Classic post brick!!

"Over 25 years of posting" -- nice

Danger-Russ Gordon · · Salt Lake City, UT · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 590
M.Morley wrote:Best forum topic since phone number for rock and resole?!
I was the OP of that thread, and it still haunts me to this day
don'tchuffonme · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2014 · Points: 26
brick wrote:Many classic threads have become crowded with lines of climbers wanting to show off how big their internetdick is. There tend to be climbers who are very aware of others and want to make sure everyone is having a good time, and then there are a few who tend not to be as aware, and can have a negative affect on everyone else out there that day. Just today, I witnessed a group of four young women posting in one group trolling their way up a popular thread with many folks waiting behind. They posted two articles about feminism - the men were very stressed, barking and whining. The folks on the thread were trying to console the men with food and petting, but nothing was working. I had already finished the route and was rappelling down. I mentioned to the women that they might want to post more evidence to take care of the men - they didn't really seem to care. Over 25 years of posting, I have seen many situations like this. A mountain project user has pissed on my thread about Smith Rock while the mods continued to belay and climb with no apparent remorse. A friend of mine got involved in a rescue on for sale forum because a team of two was selling cams and trying to rip off the 5-6 gumbies already on the thread. The purchasing climber took off to the paypal and tried to pay and ended up taking an 80-dollar loss, getting really badly hurt, and requiring everyone on the web site to stop what they were doing to rescue him. I am an unemployed loser and a guide, so I spend a lot of time on the internet. I am often the first person posting and the last one awake (I tend to get up early to beat the crowds to avoid getting entangled in many of the below situations), but I still end up seeing other nerds getting in trouble, compromising other people's safety, or simply making the experience of the internet that day unenjoyable for everyone else. And, when I began posting, I definitely did my fair share of being "that guy," too! Here are some things I'd like to share about how I try to approach the internet to make the day go smoothly for me, and for others, as well as some things that have been stated many times in climbing magazines, online chats, and among the climbing communities I have been a part of... 1. Dogs. Everyone hates dogs. 2. Parties of two. Are always slower than a soloist. 3. Keep the flow going. And pee on the route. 4. Let Others Pass. Or not, because fuck them. 5. Don't Always Expect to Pass. Just do it anyways. 6. Take Advice From Others. Especially on mountain project where everyone thinks they're a guide. 7. Guides & Mentors. Are overrated buy a book. BTW: Here is a quick list of threads that are classic dogshit: 1. Getting along on popular multi-pitch routes 2. Flash foxy article 3. Response to flash foxy article 4. Anything about alex honnold 5. anything about knots 6. and so many more...
Someone's not a fan of my work. Ah, well, it's not for everyone. Not everyone "gets" other peoples' art.
slim · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2004 · Points: 1,103

the OP reminds me of an old joke, "how can you tell who is a guide at a climbing party?" "don't worry, they will tell you within the first minute". LOLZ.

Bill Kirby · · Keene New York · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480

I don't agree with any of that, the OP is obviously a 5. Single digit climber. You're a inexperienced troglodyte, and a curmudgeon and a asshat. Why even give advice when you can post memes that make people feel bad about themselves.

Ball · · Oakridge, OR · Joined Jan 2010 · Points: 70

Quality shitpost, enemy



  • does mouth 'pop' thing snooty French waiters are known for*
Bill Kirby · · Keene New York · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480

My thoughts from start to finish about your post Ball...

Why can't I ever understand anything he writes?

WTF is he talking about?

Wow she's beautiful

Wait what the..

.....

I gotta learn how to use the bathroom without taking off my harness. Did anyone start a thread about that?

drewdogg2112 · · halifax, MA · Joined Aug 2015 · Points: 20

I cant tell if the original poster is serious or if this is a sarcastic thread but I do appreciate the good information. Seems like a good place to ask an important question.
what do you think the best climbing rope would be? Also should I get it in a 60 or 70 meter length?
Oh, and by the way... do you happen to have any pictures available of different anchor systems and which one works best?

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 276
drewdogg2112 wrote:I cant tell if the original poster is serious or if this is a sarcastic thread but I do appreciate the good information. Seems like a good place to ask an important question. what do you think the best climbing rope would be? Also should I get it in a 60 or 70 meter length? Oh, and by the way... do you happen to have any pictures available of different anchor systems and which one works best?
Excellent questions that have never been asked before. I'd like to also find out what the best pack is and where I should go for vacation. I never see these things on here.
Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 65
brick wrote:Here is a quick list of threads that are classic dogshit:...and so many more...
Where should I live? I don't know what I want for a job, I'm unsure about city vs rural, and I like to climb.

There's an emergency access issue that urgently needs you to write to some land manager and the deadline is in 2 days. Of course I knew about this 4 months ago but didn't get around to posting about it till today.

Don't forget the lame responses that turn up in a lot of threads:

1.
Q. What are some good routes in [some location]? My partner and I lead up to 5.n.
A. You gotta do [classic route that is rated 5.n+3]

2. "Yer gonna die": tired, overused, worn out. Only Locker can rightfully use this now.

3. "Send it to me for testing and proper disposal": funny for 5 seconds when it was first used in 1992. I guess if you've only been climbing 3 months it's funny.

4. "Sport climbing is neither.": not even funny the first time it was used. Anyone (other than John Sherman) saying this now brands themselves as a total n00b Gumby.

Edits:
MP software stripped out stuff that I had originally put between less-than/greater-than symbols (looks like you can't use those characters anywhere in a post)
Added proper John Sherman exclusion (h/t to bruno-cx)
amarius · · Nowhere, OK · Joined Feb 2012 · Points: 20
M.Morley wrote:And my personal favorite, "I have seen a medical professional already but don't like the advice I've been given, so instead I am going to ask for medical advice from random strangers on the Internet."
Funny that this particular topic came up.
This year I had a medical problem that MD suggested to treat with procedure A. Fortunately, I was proactive and researched the heck out it. It appears MD suggested procedure A because that was the procedure that he was performing and had no interest in anything else. I learned that there were 3 more ways to treat my problem, all of them with less severe side effects and risk of repeat procedures.
I guess not quite trusting MD is not always a bad thing.
slim · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2004 · Points: 1,103
Ball wrote:Quality shitpost, enemy *does mouth 'pop' thing snooty French waiters are known for*
ahhh, so she's the one that left a big pile at the 4th belay on liberty cracks....
grog m · · Saltlakecity · Joined Aug 2012 · Points: 70

Where should I camp at Jtree? Thanks!

Also is there a good area to set up some easy top ropes for my gf??

Marc801 C · · Sandy, Utah · Joined Feb 2014 · Points: 65

Help! Someone took my project draws!

Also, I lost my pack containing the rest of my gear. I think I put it on top of my Jeep or maybe left it hanging on the spare tire. It happened somewhere in Boulder, or maybe Smith Rocks or perhaps Bishop.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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