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The Best Route Names

csproul · · Pittsboro...sort of, NC · Joined Dec 2009 · Points: 330
Ryan Nevius wrote:In the Owen's River Gorge, there's a route with the following name: You have been nothing but trouble since the day I laid eyes on you; You’'re like a thorn in my side; I don'’t know from one day to the next what stupid lame brain stunt you’'re gonna pull; Now get out of here, get out of my office, get out of my life, once and for all get out, out, out!
Gomer Pyle
Matt Carroll · · Van · Joined Dec 2013 · Points: 249

Senior citizens in outer space (maybe it's just senior citizens in space, I forget) at index

Always made me laugh.

Eric LaRoche · · West Swanzey, NH · Joined Aug 2011 · Points: 25

"Lets get drunk and think about it." Red River Gorge. By far my favorite.

Kemper Brightman · · The Old Pueblo, AZ · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 2,971

I'm Pro Choss and I Bolt - Wallula Gap, WA

B CS · · NY · Joined Jun 2014 · Points: 41

Cocaine in my dick vein.

Alex Fox · · Laramie, WY · Joined Mar 2016 · Points: 75

Thugged out Since Cub Scouts, Brecksville, OH

J Roatch · · Leavenworth, WA · Joined Oct 2010 · Points: 162

Cunning Stunt in Index WA

Keith W · · Denvah · Joined May 2015 · Points: 95

Dale's Downpulling Digits Decadent Donjon (monastery)
Crack of Fear (lumpy)
Incredible Hand Job (Indian Creek, not to be confused with the mega classic....)

John Byrnes · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 392

Some good ones from the Brac:

Ick! Theology! (I'd rather study cod.) My favorite of Eric's routes

Unsuspecting Remora Another Eric Hirst pun

Booby Trap Booby birds are curious about climbers, and will fly close to you and completely turn their heads to watch you as they fly by. One day a booby almost crashed into the wall while looking backwards over his shoulder, only a last-second emergency maneuver saved his butt.

The Legend of Big Black Dick For several decades a life-sized statue of a black pirate, cutlass in hand, dominated the departure lounge at the Grand Cayman airport. Next to him was a story-board titled “The Legend of Big Black Dick” in large print.

Full Metal Jackfish

Wait! Wait! Stop the Bus!
Overheard as the school bus pulled away.

Eric DeHaven · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2010 · Points: 25

Anxiety state crisis (11c) Crazy horse buttress in Chiang Mai Thailand.
An absolutely amazing nearly horizontal 2 pitch roof route right across the top of a few hundred foot deep limestone cave. Making huge moves across this roof with nothing but hundreds of feet of air in every direction you get the reason for the name

Emily Evans 1 · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2016 · Points: 0

Helmeted Warrior of Love (New River Gorge )

Ai Bang Mai Fa King Nee (Red River Gorge)

Getting Lucky in Kentucky (Red River Gorge)

bus driver · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 1,516

Too Much Cock, Not Enough Lycra

John Byrnes · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 392

Oh, I forgot a route in Thailand (I think):

Tufa King Pumped

Erick Valler · · flat midwest · Joined Feb 2011 · Points: 20

Can I Do it 'till I Need Glasses? - NRG

nbollier · · Portland, Oregon · Joined Apr 2016 · Points: 45

Marsha Gets Creamed - Bradyism Wall in Spearfish Canyon SD gets my vote. It's description Here is golden as well; "A wet dream come true for the beginning five ten climber! Just like Marsha, this route is tall, blonde and has sweet jugs..."

ryan albery · · Cochise and Custer · Joined Mar 2009 · Points: 290

Steep Climb Named Desire
Beyond a Shadow of a Route
The Boltzmann Constant
Big G
The Uncertainty Principle

And most definitely the Becky Route.

Kiley Borrevik · · Redmond · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 0

One in the Frenchman Coulee in Washington called "Menstrating Whale Snatch".

CRAG-list-KILLA · · Wisconsin · Joined Feb 2016 · Points: 205

Just climbed: pussy galore's flying circus-Devils lake WI

Steve Skarvinko · · SLC, UT · Joined Nov 2011 · Points: 25

"Testicle Fortitude" 

Jim Clarke · · Summit Park, UT · Joined Jun 2009 · Points: 1,596

"Hot Venom Injection Arete" - Uintas, UT

All Time Favorite & Best I've ever heard: "I PROMISE NOT TO CAM IN YOUR MOUTH"...St. Vrain Canyon, CO...

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

General Climbing
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