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Most tired Climbing Cliches?

Original Post
Pnelson · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 635

Ok, I just saw a comment in another thread about disposing of gear, in which someone said, "yeah, send it to me for proper disposal."

Yawn.

So, what are some of the most used-up, tired, lame, and notfunny climbing jokes, cliches, and sayings?

-It's probably ok, but is your life worth more than $50?

-The best climber is the one having the most fun!

-I'd take a bomber nut over a sketchy cam any day!

-I'm getting back into it

-hey, can you [insert mooching favor here]? I'll repay you with beer and karma!

-Yer gonna die!

-Huh huh, I love to place NUTS in CRACKS. Get it? Big jugs!

-At the Gunks this would be...

-This is a troll, but assuming it's not, here's my statement

-This is Elanor,but assuming it's not, here's my statement

-Yeah, Ondra's ok, but he's no Sharma!

-Tall people can climb hard, look at Dean Potter!

-Short people can climb hard, look at Lynn Hill!

-Women can climb hard, look at Lynn Hill!

-Don't forget to check your knot, look at Lynn Hill!

Any more YAWN-worthy cliches? Post up!

Trad Princess · · Not That Into Climbing · Joined Jan 2012 · Points: 1,175

Fantastic OP. I give it 9/10.

FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 276

All the excuses why I couldn't send that climb:

  • I need to lose weight (true)
  • That type of climbing isn't my strong suit (true for any "type" for me)
  • It's a high-gravity day (every day is for me)
  • My belayer didn't give me confidence
  • I had the wrong shoes on for this climb
Sam Stephens · · PORTLAND, OR · Joined Jan 2010 · Points: 1,090

You can't use a grigri for xxxx rope diameter!

I sent my project to the crux

You can't use a grigri for trad!

Clipping prehung draws is not a real red point

You have to use a cord and ultra equalize your anchor, which must be at least three points and an uplift piece.

If you're going to bolt do it right the first time and use titanium glue ins so they last a million years

You must use a torque wrench when you bolt

Sport climbing is neither

Bouldering isn't real climbing

Bouldering is just a party trick

Bouldering is practice climbing

Trad is for old fat guys

If there's a bolt it's not trad

Bolts don't mean it's a sport route

Forest Wizard · · Fayetteville, NC · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 5

1. "Climbing is all about leg strength."

2. "Yea, I climbed that (insert grade) the other day. To me, I think it's more of a (insert lower grade)".

3. "There's just too many people climbing these days!"

saxfiend · · Decatur, GA · Joined Nov 2006 · Points: 4,221

"If you have to ask, you shouldn't be [blah blah blah]."

JL

Eric Engberg · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2009 · Points: 0

"practice falls". More of an oxy-moron.

Warrior's Way.

john strand · · southern colo · Joined May 2008 · Points: 1,640

"this would be a better climb with more bolts" bull Shit

Bill C. · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined Jul 2008 · Points: 110

Any time anyone asks a question about anything at all, no matter how simple of a question:

MP response: "Do yourself a favor and hire a guide"

nathanael · · Riverside, CA · Joined May 2011 · Points: 525

;)

Justin Brunson · · Tacoma WA · Joined Jun 2010 · Points: 2,266

Why is this a sport climb? I've never climbed it, but from the photos, it looks like it goes on gear!

Trad Princess · · Not That Into Climbing · Joined Jan 2012 · Points: 1,175

This thread serves as yet another reminder to me, that in spite of us all loving the same thing, most climbers are annoying as hell.

There's an unfortunate faction of us that live deep within the douche-bunker, or are way too sensitive/insecure, etc etc. Lulzy.

Present company excluded, of course. You guys are all fantastic.

Ted E. · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2014 · Points: 15

Some ones I didn't see:

"Girls have better technique"

"You got me?"

"Free-Soloing is just irresponsible."

"Alex Honnold isn't even human."

"That route was totally a (one grade harder)"

NickO · · West Slope · Joined Apr 2011 · Points: 30

On Belay

Austin Baird · · SLC, Utah · Joined Apr 2009 · Points: 95

Actually, there's no climbing here in (insert state, usually Montana). You shouldn't even bother coming out.

curt86iroc · · Lakewood, CO · Joined Dec 2014 · Points: 274
NickO wrote:On Belay
fav!
FrankPS · · Atascadero, CA · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 276

Here's one of the oldest and most annoying posts I see here:

"Yeah, that's no good. Send it to me and I'll dispose of it for you."

Get some new joke material, ferchristssakes.

Cliffhanger · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 5

Blah Blah Blah, something about wearing a helmet...

"Always rap from sport anchors"

"Always get lowered from sport anchors"

I am terrible at route finding. Is this an FA?

rob.calm · · Loveland, CO · Joined May 2002 · Points: 630

Some epic making clichés.

“Don’t worry. The rope will reach the ground.”

At the end of the second pitch of a six-pitch climb, “I don’t think it’ll rain.”

At the end of the second pitch of a six-pitch climb. “We’ve no choice but to continue.”

At the end of the second pitch of a six-pitch climb, ”Don’t worry. We’ll top out before dark.”

After placing some bad gear, “I knew I had to keep moving.”

After completing a 5.4 trad route, “That was really an epic.”

Nathan Self · · Louisiana · Joined Mar 2012 · Points: 90

"I didn't read the whole post, but here's what I think...(repeats OP or others)"

Highlander · · Ouray, CO · Joined Apr 2008 · Points: 256

Crush, crushed it, crusher, bone crusher
getting on the proj
Trad is Rad
Aid climbing is for old fat guys
Strength is overrated, it's all about technique
Ice climbing is aid climbing
I am from Boulder and it's rad.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

General Climbing
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