Climbing Level

Jim Titt wrote:How shall I manage a half-erection? Are there drugs available?

Climbing friend,

I am not feeling so certain about this. I hear the recommendation, and also find it difficult to maintain half-erection during bold, difficult, enjoyable pumping soaring-like-eagle flash.

Perhaps we must become vegan to do the preventing of the atherosclerosis and thus attaining firmer and longer-lasting, enjoyable, difficult, bold and soaring erection? But then I fear of not having the enjoyment and the power on the climbing rocks achieved by my eating raw fishheads from bucket at the crag and cheesesteaks.

Or perhaps you must stop the watchings of so much pornography on the internets? Or maybe possible none of these are mattering and you only must clear your mind and achieve great state of trance like focus?

Also yes there are drugs available, but perhaps it is better only eating of raw fishheads dipped in bucket of cayenne pepper.

Probably anywhere between 5.12 and 5.16, depending on how much you train, how injury prone your body is, how much talent who really have, etc.
So my advice would be to just climb more and see how it develops.

"I am also hearing through the forums of the internets that if you maintain a half-erection during bold flash, it may help your climbing movement on bold flash. I am not certain about this. Just do not grind it into the climbing rocks or having it becoming caught in your harness before large fall."

Shit! I am a girl. What do you suggest, Aleks?

Magpie79 wrote:"I am also hearing through the forums of the internets that if you maintain a half-erection during bold flash, it may help your climbing movement on bold flash. I am not certain about this. Just do not grind it into the climbing rocks or having it becoming caught in your harness before large fall." Shit! I am a girl. What do you suggest, Aleks?

Climbing friend Magpie!

I am not understanding much, the ways of the women. However, if the advice for bold difficult flash would be holding true for the men, perhaps lacking an erection, you may simply find a way to become aroused during said flash, and having the increase of the circulation to the most enjoyable clitoris.

Perhaps you may be picturing me lying shirtless on back while doing the bench pressing of massive boulders in a cold mountain stream? Do you hear me count? I do over 100.

Tell to me please would this be something that would arouse the climbing woman of the climbing rocks? Would it be a good way to get an enjoyable, climbing girlfriend? I must have some plan of the strange and overly complex, other than to simply begin conversation with a woman of the climbing rocks?

I cant breath lol lol lol

Jim and Aleks, you've made my day. I thank you both.

Aleks Zebastian wrote: I am also hearing through the forums of the internets that if you maintain a half-erection during bold flash, it may help your climbing movement on bold flash. I am not certain about this. Just do not grind it into the climbing rocks or having it becoming caught in your harness before large fall.

That's the definition of a dick clenching mega classic.

Aleks Zebastian wrote: Climbing friend Magpie! I am not understanding much, the ways of the women. However, if the advice for bold difficult flash would be holding true for the men, perhaps lacking an erection, you may simply find a way to become aroused during said flash, and having the increase of the circulation to the most enjoyable clitoris. Perhaps you may be picturing me lying shirtless on back while doing the bench pressing of massive boulders in a cold mountain stream? Do you hear me count? I do over 100. Tell to me please would this be something that would arouse the climbing woman of the climbing rocks? Would it be a good way to get an enjoyable, climbing girlfriend? I must have some plan of the strange and overly complex, other than to simply begin conversation with a woman of the climbing rocks?

Aleks, I will try your suggestion! However, don't your, um, parts, get smaller in cold water?!?

Your friend,
Magpie

Magpie,

Don't ruin it.

This kid's thread got seriously derailed...not that I don't appreciate the wisdom of Aleks...

My kingdom for a scuba accident

Motivated?

Magpie79 wrote: Aleks, I will try your suggestion! However, don't your, um, parts, get smaller in cold water?!? Your friend, Magpie

No, my pikk and testiklene do not grow smaller in the cold water, as I am from Norway and am very use to the cold. Also I would remain only shirtless in the cold mountain stream and still would have the coverings of the lower body clothing just in case. In conclusion, there will also be some drinking of beverages hot around the campfire before the sweet makings of the love.

My heart is very sad that you do not find me attractive. Also, I receive no advice on the obtaining of an enjoyable, climbing girlfriend.

Aleks Zebastian wrote: No, my pikk and testiklene do not grow smaller in the cold water, as I am from Norway and am very use to the cold. Also I would remain only shirtless in the cold mountain stream and still would have the coverings of the lower body clothing just in case. In conclusion, there will also be some drinking of beverages hot around the campfire before the sweet makings of the love. My heart is very sad that you do not find me attractive. Also, I receive no advice on the obtaining of an enjoyable, climbing girlfriend.

Climbing Friend Aleks!

My advice to find the "great white buffalo" (enjoyable climbing girlfriend) is to find a girl at the crag, and flash all the routes around her while eating cheesesteaks. You must also have your bucket of fish heads hanging from your harness, and eat one before each enjoyable flash. Remember that the flashes are only to impress the girl. Make eye-contact before you start climbing each route, and also make eye contact after difficult cruxes with much manly grunting involved. At every anchor let out a lot of slack and take victory whips to prove you are not afraid, and when the day is over and she has watched you with the firey passion of ten thousand suns in her eyes, you must then ask if she would like to come to your tent and talk about beta.
When she comes to your tent to talk about beta and make sweet love, hit her in the side of the head with a gri gri very hard so she is unconsious. Stuff her in the back of your climbing van where you already have your cage prepared. You must then her back to your uber climbing training facility and teach her to make difficult but enjoyable flash of 13a or greater. When she does that she will respect you and understand you at your deepest level; then you can ask her on a date for cheesesteaks.

That is how you find climbing girlfriend.

Eli Buzzell wrote: Climbing Friend Aleks! I'm a horrible person and need to be arrested because I've got serious issues on a deep level...

Eli,

What the hell is wrong with you?! Get some help, son!

Sir Spanxalot wrote: Eli, why are you such a great artist? What inspires you?

Spanx,
Throughout my life I have been crafting stories, writing poems, and singing songs of great climbing ventures. It is how I express myself. Knowing that I will never make the enjoyable flash of the 14a, I take solace in knowing that I can write great words, and make pictures of those that do. This is what inspires me.

Thank you for your unusual interview question, though I believe you are trying too hard to Nathan's thread about making the flash.

The big question: is Aleks a model or a climber?????

He is a model climber.

Climbing friend,

This thread must be closed due to the inappropriate writings of violence of misogynistic climbing friends. Let us meditate on the bold flash, reflect upon our lives and how they may bring us greater flash, and tomorrow perhaps we will have more enjoyable writings, possible to be inspiring us for most excellent flash of lifetime this weekend of the climbing rocks.

In the mean time tonight, I will go to indoor climbing rocks of plastic. There I will of course go shirtless and try to get all women of the climbing rocks to look at me. This I'll do by of course flashing all the most difficult routes, grunting loudly and/or screaming like wild animal at the crux, and following people around then making easy flash of route they struggle upon.

Perhaps I will get the phone numbers of the women of the climbing rocks, and ask them if they are liking to go make bold flash with me this weekend. Then, great confusion and uncertainty of possible differing expectations will be ensuing, as neither person would be sure whether it is a date or merely a climbing session truly aiming at bold flash. Do you think this is an idea good? Or bad?

Aleks Zebastian wrote: Perhaps I will get the phone numbers of the women of the climbing rocks, and ask them if they are liking to go make bold flash with me this weekend. Then, great confusion and uncertainty of possible differing expectations will be ensuing, as neither person would be sure whether it is a date or merely a climbing session truly aiming at bold flash. Do you think this is an idea good? Or bad?

I'm thinking you should stay away from the "lean in"