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Dumb things other climbers have said

Tom Sherman · · Austin, TX · Joined Feb 2013 · Points: 433
Michael Schneider wrote:DUMB THINGS OTHER "CLIMBERS" HAVE SAID
"I keep loading this ATC left-handed, haha, I mean I know how to do it that way, but can you show me how to load it right-handed?"
Tug · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2007 · Points: 0

"Are there any chalk bags out there with zippered pockets?"

Patrick Shyvers · · Fort Collins, CO · Joined Jul 2013 · Points: 10

Can someone start a "Dumb things I have said while climbing" thread? I think I would have a lot more to contribute to that one.

Eric G. · · Saratoga Springs, NY · Joined Apr 2012 · Points: 70
Bill Kirby wrote: Three of us were climbing up Chouinard's Right last winter.. Chouniard's Gully had a long line so we did the right side. We were at the top of the first pitch which had a great view of the adjacent route. A leader who's climbing up the headwall gets hit with ice from above. The guy yells "Please stop dropping ice on me!". I felt a little bad when he heard all of us laugh at him.
Three years ago on Chouniard's, the wife and I headed up without anyone in front of us. Super cold, brittle day.

At the very top, where the near-vertical ice forms on the right, I sent down a whole bunch of ice. We then hear some guy yelling up to me to "Please stop knocking ice off" from the very bottom of the route. His voice is desperate. I accommodated him and tested the limits of calf pump.

After topping out, we rap down and meet the party. The guy apologizes for asking me to stop climbing while on lead on near vertical ground, and explains that he was simply concerned BECAUSE HE BROKE HIS HAND DUE TO ICEFALL THE YEAR BEFORE BY FOLLOWING ANOTHER PARTY TOO CLOSELY ON THE EXACT SAME ROUTE.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..
pataug16 · · chattanooga, TN · Joined Sep 2013 · Points: 30

I would have plenty to put in on the dumb things I've said
but in the spirit of the thread.
My dear friend who climbs but doesn't get the terminology. yells to me as he is leading, "cruxing" as he clips the second bolt. I laughed at him he was still confused as he "cruxed" bolt 3.

probably used most by non climber trying to climb "couldn't you just pull me up".

Mike Collins · · Northampton, MA · Joined May 2013 · Points: 0

someone at the gym recently tried convincing me that the crux to his 11d project was around v6/v7...

Bill Kirby · · Keene New York · Joined Jul 2012 · Points: 480
Eric G. wrote: Three years ago on Chouniard's, the wife and I headed up without anyone in front of us. Super cold, brittle day. At the very top, where the near-vertical ice forms on the right, I sent down a whole bunch of ice. We then hear some guy yelling up to me to "Please stop knocking ice off" from the very bottom of the route. His voice is desperate. I accommodated him and tested the limits of calf pump. After topping out, we rap down and meet the party. The guy apologizes for asking me to stop climbing while on lead on near vertical ground, and explains that he was simply concerned BECAUSE HE BROKE HIS HAND DUE TO ICEFALL THE YEAR BEFORE BY FOLLOWING ANOTHER PARTY TOO CLOSELY ON THE EXACT SAME ROUTE. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..
I'm not trying to hijack! I'll call this dumb shit guides have said:

So Chouniard's three or four years ago on a Wednesday morning. I'm racking up, rope's are flaked at the bottom. EMS guide comes along and asks "What's your plan of attack?" Umm What? I say I'm climbing the gully. He replied my ropes are too short. I say if that's the case and the 60M station's not there I'll ask my partner to start climbing or I'll build an anchor. The guide from EMS says the ice is bad over the headwall a screw anchor won't hold. I say look there's lots of trees or my partner can cover the first thirty feet of easy ground until I make it to the top of the first pitch. The guide tells me no no that won't work. The guide from Eastern Mountain Sports tells me to follow right after him and his noob so he can show me how to pitch the climb out with a 60 meter rope!!! I tell him we're doing the right if you gotta steal my route. He says Don't worry. We won't kick any ice down on you guys. This is a true story. We did the Gully after the Right side. My wife said she liked the Right side better.
JasonP · · Clemson, SC · Joined Oct 2013 · Points: 30
Bill Kirby wrote: I'm not trying to hijack! I'll call this dumb shit guides have said: So Chouniard's three or four years ago on a Wednesday morning. I'm racking up, rope's are flaked at the bottom. EMS guide comes along and asks "What's your plan of attack?" Umm What? I say I'm climbing the gully. He replied my ropes are too short. I say if that's the case and the 60M station's not there I'll ask my partner to start climbing or I'll build an anchor. The guide from EMS says the ice is bad over the headwall a screw anchor won't hold. I say look there's lots of trees or my partner can cover the first thirty feet of easy ground until I make it to the top of the first pitch. The guide tells me no no that won't work. The guide from Eastern Mountain Sports tells me to follow right after him and his noob so he can show me how to pitch the climb out with a 60 meter rope!!! I tell him we're doing the right if you gotta steal my route. He says Don't worry. We won't kick any ice down on you guys. This is a true story. We did the Gully after the Right side. My wife said she liked the Right side better.
You gave way? I would have told him to lick my taint.
nicktucker · · Portland, OR · Joined Aug 2012 · Points: 5

Was climbing at a local crag awhile ago and overheard a gym rat talking to his inexperienced friends after leading a particularly easy 5.8 sport route.

Gym Rat: "Yeah, that's a 5.8, but it's pretty run out (it wasn't), so it's basically a 5.9"
Friends: "ooohh"

Got a good chuckle out of that one

fingerflinger Vaughan · · Menlo Park, CA · Joined Nov 2013 · Points: 0
Three pitches up at the belay.
Me: Okay climbing.
Belayer: Climb on.
I start climbing, but just as I leave the belay, my belayer takes both hands off the rope to blow her nose.
Me: Can you keep me on belay?
Belayer: Oh, sorry
Belayer works at a climbing gym as an instructor
Dick Stone · · Boulder · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 220

In Joshua Tree... climber overheard asking "I wonder what kind of trees these are?"

M Bageant · · Los Angeles, CA · Joined Apr 2014 · Points: 70

It was a hot day, and I was romping up a 2-pitch sport climb, a well-bolted 5.4 slab, on a three-man rope team simulclimb. We get to the anchor, which happens to be shared with the neighboring, near identical climb.

Two of our party have topped out and the third is on his way up when the leader on the other climb moseys his way up toward us, sees that we are using the bolted anchor, and calls down to his partner, "They're on the anchor, we'll have to wait."

She snarls back, "What do you mean, they're on the anchor? That's OUR anchor!!! We started climbing first, tell them to get off!!!"

The poor bloke shrugged and just stood there patiently on the slab, waiting and ignoring the multitude of bomber trees nearby, as we finished up and hurried down the descent before his follower could reach us...

David Gibbs · · Ottawa, ON · Joined Aug 2010 · Points: 2
M Bageant wrote:It was a hot day, and I was romping up a 2-pitch sport climb, a well-bolted 5.4 slab, on a three-man rope team simulclimb.
Lady and the Tramp / Clippity Do Dah at Rumney?
Andrew Morrison · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Oct 2014 · Points: 30

While bouldering at the campus gym, trying to kill some time between classes, a couple girls walked up and were talking amongst themselves. These were the typical "Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte, yoga pants, and North Face jacket" white girls, mind you. One says to the other: "OMG, wall climbing is so much fun. It's literally my fave...I'm so good at it. I've done it a couple times."
Well, sweetie, since you're calling it "wall climbing", you may not be all that good at it.

shannon stegg · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jan 2013 · Points: 0

said by me to several of my partners at the beginning of an epic, if your going to be stupid, you better be tough! Good thing I have not had to say that in a long while.

Xam · · Boulder, Co · Joined Dec 2011 · Points: 76
David Gibbs · · Ottawa, ON · Joined Aug 2010 · Points: 2
Xam wrote:
Maybe he had a rock fall on his head after the first flash, and had amnesia forgetting the whole climb in order to flash it again?
Papa Todd · · Highlands Ranch, CO · Joined Jan 2015 · Points: 25
Rob Eison wrote:Bumped into an ex-girlfriend a few years back... "So, you still hanging rocks? "What? You mean rock-climbing?" "Whatever you call it." She clearly was NOT The One.
No shit!! She use to say the same thing to me!!
Adam Peters · · Salt Lake City, UT · Joined Jan 2006 · Points: 700

A dude asking a chick about rock climbing outside v. inside. Her response...

"All you need to know how to do is carabiner yourself, it's easy."

j sittler · · Carbondale, CO · Joined Oct 2013 · Points: 0

Climbing Looking Glass Rock outside Moab, ran into a big group of Mormons, 2 adults and maybe a dozen kids, the youngest in 5th or 6th grade. All had harnesses and one quickdraw, someone would solo the pitch, set up a fixed rope and everyone else would climb with just the quickdraw clipped into the fixed line. After seeing a couple kids slip and catch themselves by grabbing the fixed line, I asked one of the adults what would happen if they fall (knowing the answer was a possible 60ft slab fall with the draw sliding down the rope till it hit the anchor of two drilled angles), he said, oh the carabiner will catch them, but they wont fall. Somehow no one fell or died during the 175ft free hanging rappel, during which someone at the bottom was running around with the ends of the ropes, causing the rappeller to swing wildly

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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