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Slackliners are pedophiles and satanists

Original Post
20 kN · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2009 · Points: 1,346
"So basically slackliners lift the kid to the rope, touching the kid in the armpit area which is just an excuse to put their hand over the petite breasts of young beautiful child and feel the lust of touching the innocent body. Then they give a support by keeping the hand on the shoulder or in the back of the child gently massaging the young girl, or even more disgusting, young boys back and lowering the hand over the tight buttocks while the willowy youngster sway back and forward like a young sailor riding on his lover. And because the rope walking is very physical activity, kids get sweaty and the adults can then see directly through they clothes!"

landoverbaptist.net/showthr…

I've heard some dumb shit in my life, but this really tops the cake.
StatJuan · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jul 2013 · Points: 10

"The Landover Baptist Church is a fictional Baptist church based in the fictional town of Freehold, Iowa. The Landover Baptist web site and its associated Landoverbaptist.net Forum are a satire of fundamentalist Christianity and the Religious Right in the United States." - Wikipedia

Simon W · · Nowhere Land · Joined May 2013 · Points: 55

I was convinced when I read the thread title, but not so sure after reading the re-posted text!

Funny satire. Whatever "priest" wrote that comes off as being quite frustrated...

camhead · · Vandalia, Appalachia · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 1,240

Brilliant satire; it is pretty common for a lot of fundies to consider yoga a satanic ritual, so slacklining might not be too far off. And at this point our entire society just needs to assume that whenever a pastor fixates on pedophilia, it is simply because he is a closet ped himself.

Just google "youth pastor watch."

Bapgar 1 · · Out of the Loop · Joined Oct 2007 · Points: 90

God bless the interwebs.

this is my favorite part: from Wikipedia

The site was created by Chris Harper, who obtained his Master's Degree in English Literature from George Mason University in 1993 after being expelled from Liberty University (founded by Jerry Falwell) in 1989 for producing a satirical radio show which Liberty's administration found offensive.

But I am pretty sure that slackliners are at the very least pedophiles.

John Tex · · Estes · Joined Mar 2013 · Points: 0

Or just the failed climber

Jim Titt · · Germany · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 490

So what are you doing trawling Baptist Church websites anyway?

Cor · · Sandbagging since 1989 · Joined Mar 2006 · Points: 1,445

Slack liners, satanists, and the like... They all walk the line! ;)

20 kN · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2009 · Points: 1,346
Jim Titt wrote:So what are you doing trawling Baptist Church websites anyway?
Why are you reading about slackliner pedophiles and satanists?
Jim Titt · · Germany · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 490
20 kN wrote: Why are you reading about slackliner pedophiles and satanists?
I´m stalking you:-)
Joan Lee · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2014 · Points: 140

That priest is definitely a perv himself to even write something like that. If he thinks a child's undeveloped body is arousing he is a perv. Sad to see people like that tarnishing spirituality that faith in God can bring. Not all priests and spiritual leaders are that way, but we seem to focus on disgusting examples of human beings. Why not focus on inn er peace that faith in something bigger than yourself can bring? Too much filth on the internet already. What have you done to make yourself a happier and better person today?

zoso · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2007 · Points: 790

I dunno. I thought it was more entertaining before I realized it was satire.

"What will happen to those viril pre-teen boys and their statuesque bodies when fit men are touching them all the time? They get used to touch manly body and that is a way to homersexuality!"

Joan Lee · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2014 · Points: 140

Not to change the subject but what passes me off a lot is when some mom's bring their 10 year old boys in a ladies common area showers. Then they wonder why they are grandmas at the age of 30!

chuffnugget · · Bolder, CO · Joined Sep 2011 · Points: 0

Is that what happened to you?

Locker · · Yucca Valley, CA · Joined Oct 2002 · Points: 2,349
"what pisses me off a lot is when some mom's bring their 10 year old boys in a ladies common area showers"

I'm calling my Mom and asking her why she never did that with me when I was 10.

I was robbed of a great childhood experience.
Joan Lee · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Jun 2014 · Points: 140

No one touches me except for my man. That's the way I like it.
And you, washed out dude, go annoy your own woman or a drunk college chick.

matt c. · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Nov 2009 · Points: 155

oh my god... my new favorite thing.

putting stud back into bible study...

Tom-onator · · trollfreesociety · Joined Feb 2010 · Points: 790
Joan Lee wrote:No one touches me except for my man. That's the way I like it.
Hopefully the bearded one follows a strict hand sanitizing ritual before and after the touching.
Doug Meneke · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Apr 2013 · Points: 10

I pat myself on the back. Pat pats me in the front. Sooner or later I'll get it down pat.

Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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