What is the WORST gear review you've ever read?

What's the worst gear review you've ever read or written?

Seen a few that commented on the speed of the shipping. Great...I was looking for a fast package.

I agree with the reviews about shipping--so frustrating.

I also hate reviews where the person clearly didn't read or understand the product description because what they are using the gear for isn't its intended use. "Yeah, I just picked up this dmm revolver locking carabiner. It's super sick. I use it to hold my keys. It's a little bulky and heavy, tho. 3/5"

WTF.

My personal favorite:
"I recently returned from a trip to Telluride. I used the North Face Assault 2 tent. It rained almost every day we were camping. After five days, the tent was completely soaking wet on the inside. I contacted the North Face warranty department to let them know about the tent defect. I received the below email back from them!

• **

Thank you for contacting The North Face. Your tent was evaluated by our warranty technician and was determined that no material defects were found. The tent is a single wall tent designed for high alititudes above 16,000 ft. where there is little to no precipitation in the air. As a special service we can issue you a gift card for the full purchase price of the tent"

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this guy's review on Pinkbike for the Rockymounts Pitchfork. The best part is how he posts Rockymount's response to back up his argument.

_____________________________________

Submitted by Stephen Brault a Cross Country Rider from Suffield, Ct.

Date Reviewed: March 28, 2012

Strengths: Clean look

Weaknesses: Doesn't fit Mini Coopers, the hatch will hit it when you open it

Bottom Line:
Do not purchase this product if you own a Mini Cooper Please read my e-mail to rocky Mounts and there response, they know it doesn't fit.

I recently purchased a Euro Pitch fork through Amazon as I had a few Amazon gift cards. This is my 3rd gift Rocky Mount bike rack I have purchased over the last 15 years. There seems to be a few design flaws because if I mounted the rack as instructed, I cannot open my 2007 Mini Cooper hatch without hitting the rack, with or without the end cap. I mounted it using the rear holes in the nose section and if the rack isn’t all the way over to the outside of my factory rack, the hatch still hits the rack. It does not fit a Mini Cooper and you should not advertise it as so. My previous pitchfork I had to purchase the mountain bike attachment and I had to cut the end of the rack several inches so it would not hit the hatch when opened. There is a pattern here, your design team is not doing their homework. That being said, I will not purchase nor recommend your products to any of my teammates. I belong to a bike racing team (60 + members) and the largest tri team in the New England region ( 300+ members).
I’ll get off my soap box now.
Regards,
Steve

Stephen,

Thanks for the email. Sorry you do not like the product. Our Euros are actually our fastest growing product with positive feedback all over the country.

I do want to clear up a couple points though. Design Flaw? While the Mini does seem to be a car with a growing popularity it pales in comparison to other care sales. The reason we designed our racks with added length is to appeal to cyclists. 29ers and thru axels are becoming much more mainstream in the cycling community and the old 43" trays were not long enough to accommodate the wheelbase of these changes. It would seem strange to make a rack that can not accommodate a large market share of bikes and instead appeal to a small market share of cars... right?

While we realize it hits the hatch on some years of the Mini (depending on the spoiler size and crossbar position), we also give you the option of mounting the rack on backwards. This would be the easy solution and solve your issue immediately. With that being said we also understand you might not like the "look". In which case you can cut off a small section of the tray (which you discovered). While inconvenient, it works and will allow you to have the best looking, best priced and most practical fork mount on the market on your Mini. We don't put that in the instructions because we don't want people cutting their trays without some idea of what they are doing.

Lastly we would ask that before bad mouthing our products and small company to look at the rack and remember you are driving a Mini. It is named the Mini because it is a small car. With small cars come unique situations. Throwing out the statement that "we are not doing are homework" is a broad statement for this situation. While we would like every customer we have to love our product we realize that we are going to have some outliers. As a small company trying to compete with the big boys we have to make decisions that appeal to the largest market share so we can keep the lights on.
You can now have your soap box back. Thanks for letting me use it.

Noah

The people who break sh!t "the first time I used it."

Metolius aid ladder on Amazon:

"By andy on October 6, 2013

Color Name: BlueSize Name: 8 Step Verified Purchase
bought this to climb in my attic, which was impossible with this flimsy ,tiny thing that i dont even know if it would hold me and i dont weight much at all, it kept moving from one side to the other, couldnt even make it to the second step, maybe if you want to use it for kids or other activities it works better, anyway dont waste your money , get a real ladder, i had to return it, sorry"

Daniel Winder wrote:Metolius aid ladder on Amazon: "By andy on October 6, 2013 Color Name: BlueSize Name: 8 Step Verified Purchase bought this to climb in my attic, which was impossible with this flimsy ,tiny thing that i dont even know if it would hold me and i dont weight much at all, it kept moving from one side to the other, couldnt even make it to the second step, maybe if you want to use it for kids or other activities it works better, anyway dont waste your money , get a real ladder, i had to return it, sorry"

face palm

The reviews on products like this

backcountry.com/millet-myo-…

where they are obviously fake! Almost all of these profiles only review products by Millet or Lafuma (the parent company of Millet) and they give them all 4 or 5 stars. Makes it totally useless for anyone looking to actually assess the quality of the product.

P.S. Anyone know if Millet is a reputable brand at all? Maybe I'm just a noob, but I've never heard anything about them one way or the other.

lol

Jaime M wrote:I also hate reviews where the person clearly didn't read or understand the product description because what they are using the gear for isn't its intended use.

It's even worse when they bash a product for not having some feature it never claimed to have had in the first place.

• this (stretch woven) soft shell isn't water proof
• this (minimalist alpine shell) doesn't have a powder skirt
• this visor doesn't keep the top of my head warm (OK I made that one up)

pnygren wrote:P.S. Anyone know if Millet is a reputable brand at all? Maybe I'm just a noob, but I've never heard anything about them one way or the other.

I had a pullover fleece from Millet, and didn't like it much at all because it was too small for me. Would not recommend.

"These (bouldering) shoes are good at climbing but they really hurt my feet on the trail to the boulders"
1 star.

Dave Bn wrote: It's even worse when they bash a product for not having some feature it never claimed to have had in the first place.

That too! And the "it was on sale, but they didn't have my size, so I went with the closest size they had in stock, but it doesn't fit. Returned" review. Um. What were you expecting?

DuncanKL wrote: I had a pullover fleece from Millet, and didn't like it much at all because it was too small for me. Would not recommend.

Are you being ironic?

FWIW, Millet is carried @ Neptune Mountaineering, so it's probably legit. I don't know much about them, but I believe one of the reviewer on backcountry reps for Millet, not that it makes the review invalid.

La Fuma and Millet are legit, although I am not familiar with their quality. I have a pair of pants from La Fuma that are at least 15 years old, and I remember Millet shoes from the early 90s.

I demoed a pair of Millets a couple years back. I remember liking them but decided to go with Scarpa instead.

pnygren wrote:Anyone know if Millet is a reputable brand at all?

Millet has been around for a long time. Forty to fifty years ago "le sac Millet" (the Millet backpack) was some sort of a status symbol in the Alps. Endorsed by the likes of Bonatti and Desmaison. Can't vouch for their current product line.

People who post reviews about how they just got x product and it's still in the box but looks cool and they will post a more detailed review later but never do.

WORST REVIEW EVER! (Sterling dogbones)

moosejaw.com/moosejaw/shop/…

Wendy is either very clever or a complete idiot.

"The Sterling Rope Dog Bones in the 19mm is a total waste of great ingenuity! The strap is made of a fantastic high quality material, but is so short you could only use it if you were a vertically challenged individual with an unnaturally lanky puppy. The dog would have to be floating in thin air or have 3' long legs to make this product work."
- Wendy

Millet's ropes are quality - ordered one and it has held up well over the past two years of heavy use.