Ego and climbing ability-tied together. . .

I find that, despite knowing better, my self esteem is directly correlated to my climbing abilities. It's been a number of years since being able to climb 5.12 (before the Peace Corps), since then I've gone up and down in the 5.10-5.11+ range and my self esteem has tagged along. Recently I've been back to actually getting somewhere on low 5.12's and it has really helped my self esteem. Maybe the problem is that I label myself a climber and tie too much to that identity-maybe I just suck at every other aspect of life so being decent at one thing "helps" my self esteem.

I'm guessing that I'm not the only one like this- have any of you successfully found a way to have a healthy ego separated from the ability to hold onto smaller holds???

You should read The Rock Warrior's Way. You need to find an internal motivation based on the love of what you are doing instead of climbing for external motivations. It also sounds like you're describing how your ego responds to the results of your efforts; it's not about success and failure but about what one learns through the process to increase one's personal power. Even if you only take away a small amount of new knowledge from that book it will go a long ways towards putting your ego in it's proper place.

Climb for the sake of climbing. Climb a route for its fun factor rather than the number and letter after its name. Grades are just a form of mental masturbation.

1)Buy a truck. Lift the f#ck out of it and put 35" mud tires on it.

or

2)Ask your parents for the hugs they left out of your childhood?

Seriously, is grade chasing affecting your happiness?

even if climbing harder makes you happy, is there anything wrong with that? everybody gets hung up on the whole "journey thing man, not the destination...". if the destination is what you care about, who cares? as long as you aren't kicking somebody else's puppy, whatever floats your boat.

Anybody who says ego is not part of climbing is a liar. Your doing something that comparatively few other people can or will do...you climb 'cause it's hard (all relative).

F/a's are really about this (i'm guilty) your doing a climb that no one else has ever done...

amazon.com/The-Myth-Self-es…

Brent Larsen wrote:Climb for the sake of climbing. Climb a route for its fun factor rather than the number and letter after its name. Grades are just a form of mental masturbation.

I think OP is pretty normal. If you look at humans in general, they usually have many ways to compare their balls. For weight lifters it is addiction to their muscle size. For scholars it is their test scores or research work that was published. How good looking is your wife? How many horsepower does your car have? How expensive is your watch? And again, how long is your dick? So don’t feel special. When you are climbing in a group with others guys who all are crushing 5.12, you do not want to feel inferior to them.

I've looked at "The Warrior's Way" at the shop a few times, it appears to be somewhat based on spirituality, which after spending 25 years as a christian, really turns me off (I believe in nothing Lebowski), but maybe I'll have another look at it.

I'm glad most people can't see my dick when I'm out and about, it's reasonably long, but looks like a witches finger. . .

The Rock Warrior's Way is more a philosophy for looking at things (more specific to rock climbing; The Warrior's Way itself applies to life in general). It removes the ego from the equation which can make all the difference in the world. I think that someone of any religious belief will be able to use the concepts taught in that book effectively.

Maybe my self esteem is more related to how other climbers treat me when I'm working a 5.12 compared to hanging my way up 5.11???

I feel like I try to go out of my way to treat all climbers the same-no matter how they climb. I don't really feel like many other climbers are like that. . .

DoesNotCare wrote:I've looked at "The Warrior's Way" at the shop a few times, it appears to be somewhat based on spirituality, which after spending 25 years as a christian, really turns me off (I believe in nothing Lebowski), but maybe I'll have another look at it. I'm glad most people can't see my dick when I'm out and about, it's reasonably long, but looks like a witches finger. . .

Admins: this appears to be misposted. Please repost in the "What Does Your Woody Look Like" thread.

Leave your rope at home and solo some .9s and .10s. You'll see the light soon enough.

Chasing numbers may be fun, but it isn't what climbing is all about.

Possibly true, Meg. Just thought it should be hard enough to keep his attention. How hard it is ultimately won't matter.

Because you want me to die???

So, start with 5.4 Care. The point I make is that numbers don't matter when you're out there alone. You'll find all the esteem you seek.

In surfing, a similarly-veined question is "How would you surf if no one was watching?"
When "showing off" is no longer an option. How would you perform?
Some people live their life like no one is watching (or they don't care), some people love to own designer purses, jeans, etc.

Remember, as in surfing, the best climber is...

the one having the most fun!

:D

DoesNotCare wrote:Maybe my self esteem is more related to how other climbers treat me when I'm working a 5.12 compared to hanging my way up 5.11??? I feel like I try to go out of my way to treat all climbers the same-no matter how they climb. I don't really feel like many other climbers are like that. . .

Clearly you don't treat yourself the same no matter how hard you climb. I think you're projecting your own insecurities onto them. You care too much about what other people think. The reality is, no one gives a shit about how hard you climb.

Chasing numbers is not wrong. Everyone wants to become a better climber than they are now. What that means is different for everyone. For some it means climbing the next level of difficulty. For others it's about climbing the biggest multipitch. For others it's trying to climb the most aesthetic route. For others it's about trying to spend the most time out on the rock. For others it's about trying to have the most fun with their friends. It's all about finding what climbing means to you.

My advice is this, take some time and really figure out what you want in life. Impressing other people should not be your priority. If it is, then I can imagine your life will continue down this shitty road of regret.

Don't worry about what other people think. Just do you and try to make your life the best you can make it. Positive things happen to positive people.

DoesNotCare wrote: Maybe the problem is that I label myself a climber and tie too much to that identity-maybe I just suck at every other aspect of life so being decent at one thing "helps" my self esteem. I'm guessing that I'm not the only one like this...

This point has not been addressed yet in the replies, but is worth considering. I have had the same thing happen to me. During times when I've had climbing as the only thing going on in my life (long road trips, etc), I have found that my self esteem can get caught up with climbing ability. When all you do is climb, it is quite easy to get down on yourself when the climbing isn't going well. This is particularly true when focusing on the more performance-oriented types of climbing, like trying to redpoint hard sport routes (as opposed to adventure/experience oriented climbing).

My advice is to diversify your life and to diversify your climbing. This was one reason I went back to school; basing my self-worth only on climbing, while working some seasonal job I didn't care much about, wasn't very good for my mental state...or my climbing. Having multiple things going on in your life makes it less catastrophic to your self worth when you punt (again) off of your project. Also, diversifying your recreational activities is nice too, so you can stay active while taking a break from sport climbing. If your head is in the wrong place, step away from it and don't come back until your motivations are aligned properly. A short-term switch over to skiing, or biking, or even just adventurous trad climbing will provide the needed break. Alternatively, a short road trip to a different area helps a lot to reboot the psyche; it is easy to get stuck in a rut when only climbing in the same canyon all the time.

I have led some 5.9 bolted and 5.8 trad. I'm not stoked when I fall on a 5.7. I usually wish I'd just taken another breath/look/moment. This doesn't matter to anyone but me. I have topped out the great majority of V2's I have tried, I'm perplexed still by at least one V1 I've tried. Again this doesn't matter to anyone, not even me if it doesn't stop me from having fun. I started climbing in May and am stoked to say that I have zero expectations for my climbing grade wise and would be happy to continue climbing 5.9 bolted an 5.8 trad.

s.price wrote:Being a better climber has nothing to do with numbers. I think it's great climbing gives you a self esteem boost. But how hard you are climbing should have nothing to do with it. Focus on how well you "style" your next project, easy or hard. You are confusing self improvement with degree of difficulty. The former is where self esteem truly resides. Ego? Only good in very small doses.

This. To be a better climber you need to climb better.

Climb flawlessly