Good Climbing jokes

The parking garage ascent was intense. No ropes above 60 ft?!?!?!!??!? Was literally laughing for 10 min and someone was like "what's wrong with you"

The dude with a walker would make a nice trad mentor actually. You may even inherit his rack!

youtube.com/watch?v=bsAiOYX…

What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a climbing guide?......

A large cheese pizza can feed a family of 4.

bruce Mcintosh wrote:what is chris sharma's favorite car? Passsatt

hahaha best one yet

whats the difference between a hockey player and a girl from boulder????
generally hockey players change their pads after three periods... OOOHHHHH!

Ethan Newman wrote:How many Boulderites does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One: they just hold the bulb up, and the world revolves around them.

I heard this one about surgeons originally

why is a girlfriend who climbs so hard to find?
cuz all the good ones are either taken or handicapped!

bruce Mcintosh wrote:what is chris sharma's favorite car? Passsatt

This is hilarious! Sound it out in your head in Sharma voice for full value.

goingUp wrote:why is a girlfriend who climbs so hard to find? cuz all the good ones are either taken or handicapped!

hahaha, this doesnt even make sense,...
-the joke is
"why is finding a girlfirend who climbs like finding a parking space? ...
b/c all the good ones are either taken or handicapped."
(i must have been wastedwhen i posted that)

^^^What's funny is it took you three weeks to notice it!

The Flying Dutchman wrote: ...For the sake of the argument. Sport climbers are whiney little number chasing vegans who train in the gym and complain non stop about their lack of skin and pulled finger pullies...As far as boulderers go, IDK WTF the point of this is all about, but, maybe that's because I don't listen to techno music nor sleep with me precious La Sportive Solutions tucked safely under my pillow at night

LOL. I got a buddy who wears his new climbing shoes while sitting on the couch, just looking at them and feeling how tightly crammed his black toenails are.

What's the difference between a climber chick and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't hang around your campsite for weeks after you dump a load in it.

At any crag or campsite:

Soo where are you guys from?

Colorado

Where is that? Never heard of it?

What? Really?

Is that in the states? Have you ever been to Salt Lake? I love it there

Q: What do you call a brah hugging two slopers?
A: Booby trap.

Not exacly climbing but it made me chuckle.....

I got into troubble the other day when I got on the elevator at work....

A rather large brested woman got on too....

She said: Please press one...

I did.

Ethan Newman wrote:How many Boulderites does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One: they just hold the bulb up, and the world revolves around them.

For 30 seconds, then we get pumped out.

Jacks Canyon.

Warning: This is not a climbing joke, but I heard it today and thought it was good.

A Priest was about to finish his Missionary tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives, in their language, when he realizes that the one thing he never really taught them much was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The Priest is pleased with the response.

They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." The chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.

As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly says, "Man riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

And the chief replied, ”My bike."