Since MPers LOVE giving advice about wimminz and climbing!

Keith Noback wrote:How long have you been married? She is keeping score, harbor no illusions in that regard, and the scoring is not like in tennis (objective criteria for points, more points are good, a set score wins) it's more like a combination of ice dancing and golf (more points are bad, high score loses - but you can't know exactly how high, scoring is based on the judge's aesthetic standard). Sounds like this could rack up quite a few points. On the other hand, if you're really sure you can send it this time, maybe it's worth it...

I feel bad for all you assholes married to the crazy.

Best way to cure people of being passive-aggressive? Take them at their word.

PTZ wrote:We all know women. If she says she is ok with it, then she is not. She could hang this on you for a long time, you have to live with her. ... This is what women do. Play mind games. Good luck with it.

This, I find offensive to women. Don't chase crazy, and you won't end up in bed with crazy. It's not complicated.

Elena Sera Jose wrote: Scratch that! Dam internet!

Elena algún día será José?

clausti wrote: I feel bad for all you assholes married to the crazy. Best way to cure people of being passive-aggressive? Take them at their word.

Woman, man - everybody crazy. Best watch out if you start thinkin' you ain't :).

You lost me at "sport projecting." Yawn.

muttonface wrote: LOL. I sincerely thank you for your sympathy. You can't take crazies at their word. They will simply deny, or won't remember what it was they said in the first place. Trust me on this. It's because they're crazy. If you try, then the burden of proof is on you, and that's just a shitload of work for something that's going to end up in an argument to the irrational point of an illogical mind anyway. I'd rather just lie and skip it.

...DTMFA.

Just my opinion but, when I am going away for any extended period of time (more than a couple of days), I want to spend time with my significant other. The project will be there when I get back, my time with her will be limited, no matter what.

If you want to go climbing instead of spending time with your wife before not seeing her for a while, then go for it but, I would take a look at my relationship and wonder why I'd rather climb than spend time with her. I climb without my SO all the time but, when it counts she takes priority.

Also, you're going to Utah... I hear there is some climbing there :).

Another option.
The Mrs. says the hell with work and calls in sick.
You both go out and work your respective rigs, hopefully getting the clean send. Save time for a nice champagne dinner and some quality alone time before you have to leave town.
Win/Win all around unless the wife's employer sees this post.
Best of luck on your projects.

Elena Sera Jose wrote:Mutton you are a writer im not but composition was my strongest subject ;)

Uhhh... Scary.
Am I going out on a limb here to suggest that the honor roll wasn't a place you frequently appeared?

Matt Hoffmann wrote: The project will be there when I get back, my time with her will be limited, no matter what.

The perfect weather won't be there though... People are missing the important point - it's the East Coast, effin hot/humid/rainy/bug-infested now through early-October. Plus the OP has the psyche going - that thing could be a bit fickle too.

Matt Hoffmann wrote: Also, you're going to Utah... I hear there is some climbing there :).

No way! Actually see my weather comment above, who cares about climbing in Utah.

JohnL, you better start packing - it's kinda a long drive for you...

muttonface wrote: LOL. I sincerely thank you for your sympathy. You can't take crazies at their word. They will simply deny, or won't remember what it was they said in the first place. Trust me on this. It's because they're crazy. If you try, then the burden of proof is on you, and that's just a shitload of work for something that's going to end up in an argument to the irrational point of an illogical mind anyway. I'd rather just lie and skip it.

Yep!

Tony B wrote: Uhhh... Scary. Am I going out on a limb here to suggest that the honor roll wasn't a place you frequently appeared?

Nope but I got by somehow :)

Ddriver is hAwtttt!!!! I don't care what yo all say about her....

From what I know about you two, it's a win win. If you go climbing the you'll send and then be relaxed and enjoyable to be around for the next two weekends (I assume your wife will get to enjoy this). If you hang w/ the wife then you'll send the weekend after.

What are you doing in UT this summer? Sounds fun! Tell your folks I got their card... hope to see you all again in the future!

is it too late for a serious response?

no, you're not a dick for going climbing, even the weekend before you go away for two months. you're a dick if you make the choice without considering her perspective, which you've already done, so I daresay, you're clear of being a total dick. the real question is how to obtain JOINT MAXIMUM HAPPINESS.

my feeling is that the biggest downside to going and sending the proj isn't that she'll be jealous or whatever, but that you'll lose the shared experience of going to work these projects together. that said, will you feel regretful if you don't go? unhappy? is this a lifetime goal kind of project? is there any reason you won't be able to do it if you don't do it this year?

the second part that makes this tough is that you're going away for two months. how much does being apart strain the relationship? will it suck for her to be home alone that weekend?

on balance, it seems like your time is better spent with her. but it all depends on who you are, who she is, the expectations you have for each other, etc. all that relationship shit.

Hehe, all this talk about "what women REALLY mean," was what I was trying to address in my original post, when I mentioned that clausti was not passive aggressive, and does not really play mind-games. If she doesn't want me to climb (and there have been times like that), she tells me so.

As for the "keeping score" on how often we get out, hell yeah, we both keep score. But, she manages to leave me on some weekends to go do this silly swing dancing thing fairly often, so the "keeping score" thing goes both ways.

Oh, and after careful discussion with her– in which we mulled over all of y'all's valuable insights– we've decided that I'm going to go climb while she spends too much time in grad school. And yeah, I am making (and am going to make) it up to her in various ways :)

Bon Temps wrote:Another option. The Mrs. says the hell with work and calls in sick. You both go out and work your respective rigs, hopefully getting the clean send. Save time for a nice champagne dinner and some quality alone time before you have to leave town. Win/Win all around unless the wife's employer sees this post. Best of luck on your projects.

My god, we never considered this, of COURSE this is the answer!

thanks.

Ryan Williams wrote: What are you doing in UT this summer? Sounds fun! Tell your folks I got their card... hope to see you all again in the future!

Hey Ryan, I'm going to be mostly working in UT this summer; a horseback and hiking outfit that I guided for years ago in Capitol Reed NP wanted me back, so I thought "what the hell..."

Not going to be doing a lot of climbing, and honestly, after periodization I am going to need a break for a month or so.

go send your route, then head home and cook a nice victory dinner for you and your 'ol lady.