Dumb things other climbers have said

YDPL8S wrote:Nah, we're just rappelling today." The following weekend I was back and I hear a cheering crowd yelling "Go (someone's name), come on, yeah!" When I looked, I found it was not some impressive send, just some guy rappelling very slowly down a 50 foot cliff. I was somewhat amused. Did he have a Marlboro hangin out of his mouth and a sixer of Bud Lite? (see my post above)

Now that's funny

I found a sweet cliff I wanted to climb while camping along the New River in Virginia. The cliff is right on the river and is surrounded by state park land, but the face itself and the only land approach are on private land. I was committed to attempting the face and therefore set out on a quest for access permission.

After several encounters with local landowners I had reliable information on who owned the land and where to find him. I use the word "reliable" loosely, as the directions included, among other things, 'drive across the field, turn right at the dead tree and then turn left at the big rock.'

Anyway, I finally found the landowner and asked for permission to access the cliff. He told me that I could do whatever I wanted, and if I wanted some peach-flavored "Virginia Spring Water" to stop by on my way back through. I turned to leave and he left me with this final bit of wisdom:

"You be careful now. Them rocks fall downwards."

To my credit, I refrained from cracking up until I was in the truck and driving away.

Another favorite of mine:

(A hiker, while watching someone lead climb) "Wouldn't it be easier to climb if he weren't trying to pull that rope up with him?"

And then there's always this:

The Gravity Thread

Hmmm, all I have to say about scary gym climber viewing in the US is, come watch people climb in the gym in Germany.... Most gyms have no belay test, no supervision at all. Lot's of scarry belay and climbing going on. Hands off the rope while belaying, work style harnesses, tied into only the bottom tie in, eight on a bite with 1, non-locking biner clipped to the belay loop!! (note: there are a lot of safe climbers for sure, but a lot of unsafe activity)

Outside:
I few weeks ago we were climbing at a limestone crag with a LOT of very loose rock. The most solid looking routes we did still felt like half the holds would break if you really yarded on them. A couple of guys started a small rockfall (some rocks 12-14 inches in diameter and a lot of smaller rocks). They were scrambling up in order to rap to get back their gear on a climb they could not finish (note: they were wearing work style full body harnesses). At any rate they came down, walked the path to the top (all of 5 mins), rapped and left with out a single word to anyone...

Same crag a little later on some guy lowers on a climb after the 5th bolt. His belayer decieds to try, so he ties into the other end of the role and climbs up, unclipping as he goes and then attempts the crux (about 35+ feet off the ground) with only the last bolt. Keep in mind this is a very loose crag, the bolts look fine, but the rock was so really bad...

scoTt

Price wrote: When did you join this site? ha ha ha

Hey- where's my Maple Canyon book?

"I dont have any chalk or a chalk bag and I wanna go bouldering up in linville". So I (sans pad) drive almost 3 hours to climb in the humid southeast with my climbing shoes and a ziplock bag full of ... ready? FLOUR! yeah, hence the nickname "Biscuits". I guess we were all nOObs at some point.

Andrew James C wrote:Leader tells the follower after leading an apparently scary and chossy 3rd pitch in Taylor Canyon "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING"

I hear technicians telling any guy with a PHD exactly that in the lab all the time!
"You have a PHD? Uhhh... then please don't touch anything here, OK?"

I used to know this guy who was quite intelligent, but not real mechanically inclined. I mean, we used to have to demo to him which way a screwdriver turned to put in a screw or take one out. Phew.

Anyway, he was belaying another friend of mine, who was a pretty stout guy (210 lbs), and this big guy gets to the anchor and tells idgit to lower him off. He leans back and just shoots down the cliff, like pretty darned fast. When he gets to the ground, he comments on how fast that was. Idgit is looking at his ATC and says, "Now, lemme get this right. Do you or I control the rate of descent?"

I kid you not.

I'm not sure why we continued climbing with Idgit, knowing what a mechanical dork he was. I think it was because he was really a pretty nice guy, and very intelligent and very spacey, which was similar (to this day) to my case, though I had the advantage of having mechanical skills instilled in me from my father.

The last time I climbed with him, we were doing Never Sit With Your Back to the Door at Wild Iris with Ed DeLong. Both Edward and I had led it and Idgit really wanted it bad. It was at his leading limits at the time. He'd get up to the first bolt and tried probably 7 or 8 times to get to the second bolt, little short falls. He was getting tired. Edward said that it was okay, we can come back another day, let's go do something else. But, no, Idgit had to do it. So he gets on it and gives it a big ol try and gets up a little higher, comes off. I'm belaying and getting a little bored with it all. One more attempt, Idgit, and we're moving on.

So he really gives it everything. You can tell, every muscle is working at this. He gets to the second bolt, looking at it close, but he can't let go to clip. He's shaking like a leaf and moaning these horrible vowels. I'm like, OMG, looking at ground fall here. Edward is hissing in panic, "clip the bolt, clip the fucking bolt."

Then, one of the damndest things I've ever seen, he went completely limp and came off backwards, head first, straight for the deck, without a word.

Fortunately I had been ready for something like this for the last couple of aeons, and when he came off, I reeled in a ton of rope and as he started to weight the rope, I pivoted between him and the rock using him as a counterweight. It's pretty overhung at the bottom, so he swung in hard as he hit the end of the rope and crashed into me, his head maybe two feet from the ground and jetting straight for the rock. If I hadn't have pivoted between him and the rock and stopped him with my body, he'd either be dead or a permanent guest in a brain-injury unit.

I lowered him in a heap to the ground as Edward was screaming, "do you realize what just happened? Bob saved your life. You almost died!" I don't think, to this day, Idgit realizes what happened. I think it was all too much up there and he just blanked out. I stripped the rope and bouldered up to take out the first clip. I didn't say a word. Edward was pretty beside himself. We both realized how close it had been. I don't think either Edward or I climbed with Idgit ever again.

Idgit moved back to New York, where he belonged, a year or so later. For quite some time I feared I would open a climbing mag and read of his demise in some horrible accident. I later heard that he had quit climbing and got back into making money full time. Phew.

"Yea I seconded the game"
"I found Lincoln Lake"

Same guy... yea I Face palmed pretty hardcore and bit my lip...

Mitch Hoffman wrote:"Why do they always put the crux at the hard part?"

this has been the best part of my day... err...week! :D

Moreeee! This thread makes my day. Everyday.

After flailing up a route several grades too hard for him, hanging at every bolt, pulling on draws, throwing a mantrum, and basically wasting an hour of everyone's life (especially mine as the belayer), I heard this from an former acquaintance of mine: "How did I look on that route compared to most people?"

Tom Rangitsch wrote:After flailing up a route several grades too hard for him, hanging at every bolt, pulling on draws, throwing a mantrum, and basically wasting an hour of everyone's life (especially mine as the belayer), I heard this from an former acquaintance of mine: "How did I look on that route compared to most people?"

Wow, you described me to a T but I don't remember you at all.

Not to pick on the guy but this cracked me up.

wrote:I just want to say that one of my favorite climbs outside is a variation and a squeezejob.

Favorite climb outside implies that he has favorite climbs inside. I am sorry but there are no climbs inside. Sure you can go to the gym for a good work out but it's not really climbing. Just my .02.

Again not to pick on the guy I did cut his words out of context so take it for what it's worth.

Squish wrote:"Yea I seconded the game" "I found Lincoln Lake" Same guy... yea I Face palmed pretty hardcore and bit my lip...

You've met Ben Yunkers! You missed out on his flash send of "Ode to Modern Man" and when he beasted "the Big Worm". And I'd bet you didn't get to see him climb anything because it was; his rest day, he had west nile, he got in too late last night. He is truly an amazing person!

There are quite a few dumb things said/done in this video...

youtube.com/watch?v=aybyT6M…

Nah Tim, you can pick on me. I see the idiocy in my ways.

Morgan Barnes wrote: There are quite a few dumb things said/done in this video... youtube.com/watch?v=aybyT6M…

That video just made me so happy

the climber in that tree incident video should forever be known as "George of the Jungle" (watch out for that tree!)