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You can't make this shit up...

Original Post
pooler · · Albany, NY · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 20

SO... i have been in the climbing game for a little bit, but have been an outdoorsman for some time. This is a disclaimer as to my own stupidity and how not to do things, but in my own defense as well as those who where with me, We are not typically this unprepared and stupid. It was just one of those things, YOU CAN'T MAKE UP...

This post is going up because i was lucky enough to have people on MP want to help a idiot like me out. In assure all of you out there in cyberspace I'm not always this incompetent. i was just one of those things...YOU CAN'T MAKE UP..

So.... the story begins. I take a Friday off to climb with my buddies at Lost Hunters cliff in the southern Adirondacks.I got a flat tire on my way to the crag, so I told my friends to go on with out me. This cliff is not the easiest cliff to find, but I had been there before, so no big deal RIGHT... not so much. For those who don't know it is a terrible hike about 1 1/2 hrs into the woods with no landmarks to let you know you are on the right path. All you have is ribbon, on some trees to let you know where you are. THE RIBBION IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. I had planned to camp at the ciliff for the night. Well not so much.

pooler · · Albany, NY · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 20

Second installment coming soon..... To stupid to write all at once

pooler · · Albany, NY · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 20

Second installment coming soon..... To stupid to write all at once

John Maguire · · Boulder, CO · Joined Nov 2008 · Points: 195

It was just getting good too!!!

DaveB · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Feb 2007 · Points: 1,075
pooler wrote:...It was just one of those things, YOU CAN'T MAKE UP......Second installment coming soon....
Hmm...well, maybe you can!
andrew kulmatiski · · logan, ut · Joined Oct 2005 · Points: 335

I'll add a quick one (and finish it) from the Adirondacks. My dad and i were walking into spider cliffs to climb. I think i was in junior high or high school. Spider cliffs are very obvious and about 1/2mi to 1 mi from the road. Of course, once you step into the forest, the cliffs are not at all obvious. After about an hour of hiking, we were thinking we had done an unreasonable amount of uphill hiking to gain the cliff. About one half hour later we made our way to a little clearing which put us well over Spider cliff and a cliff above spider cliff. doh!

Tommey-James · · Boulder,Colorado · Joined Oct 2009 · Points: 10

So I got one to add to the mix. Me and my friend went to go climb the yellow spur when we were rookies for the most part. On the thrid pitch you pass a rotten ledge and are supose to belay at the next ledge up. My friend, being a dumb ass, stoped at the first ledge and set up a belay half way up the pitch. While on the wrong ledge, which is very spacious, me friend took off his harness and took a massive shit and burried it under a couple of rocks.

Pat C · · Honolulu · Joined Mar 2009 · Points: 45

hahahahaha, nice! The cliff danger duce.

pooler · · Albany, NY · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 20

Chapter II

So I get to the trail head parking two hours late. Load up my pack and start walking. I meandered through the woods for about 45 minutes, I set my pack down to take a rest and have a drink. While stopped I looked at my pack. Something didn't look right. SHIT.... I had tent poles strapped to to the side of my pack when I started, guess what; not any more. YOUN GOTTA BE FKING KIDDING. SO.. what now? I guess I'll go back and hope the poles are just down the trail. Well do you think they are? NOOOOOO. they are all the fking way back at the trail head about 50 yards in. REALLY. I could see my car. At this point I was ready to go home, but my friends where expecting me and i didn't want to worry them SO.. I dumped the shit in my pack I didn't think I really would need ( Trad gear, and ATC all my buddies have that stuff why do I need mine right? JUST one more you can't make this shit up. I'll get to this error later.) So back up the trail I go and when I say up I mean UP, nothing in the Dacks is flat. I walk for another half hour or so and get sick of this crap. I set my pack down at a suitable spot and decide to make camp because I'm just to pissed to keep going. I figure I'm right off the trail so one of my buddies will be coming by soon right. NOT SO MUCH. Five hours later one of my buddies comes down the trail. He says " you seen Mitch? I thought you where dead." I say "NO I thought he was with you" He says " no i haven't seen him all day"(Mitch has never been to this crag before). FFFFFFFFFKKKKKK. What now..... next chapter soon.

Joel M · · Brevard, NC · Joined Nov 2008 · Points: 35

Pooler - You got us all on edge here waiting to hear how it ends.

Mitch Hoffman · · Fonda NY · Joined Feb 2010 · Points: 220

hehe, It gets better too!

Joel M · · Brevard, NC · Joined Nov 2008 · Points: 35
Pat C wrote:hahahahaha, nice! The cliff danger duce.
Funny crap!

Mitch - please continue for pooler...
Dave Swink · · Boulder, Co · Joined Jun 2007 · Points: 285

Mitch survived?

Glenn Schuler · · Monument, Co. · Joined Jun 2006 · Points: 1,330
pooler wrote:I dumped the shit in my pack I didn't think I really would need ( Trad gear
pooler!! What the hell, didn't you promise Kevin you would post a TR about your new trad gear IN USE?? And you left it at the car?? This TR won't officially count towards your payback - disqualified.

Anyhow, what happens next? We're dying to know......
Kevin McLaughlin · · Colorado Springs · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 1,540

Pools , How you spin a yarn 101...... Open with a disclaimer..... degrade yourself ........ stumble through a pitiful epic ...... YOU ARE A NATURAL !! Welcome to what we ALL DO at one time or another .
Isn't climbing fun ?
I look forward to more .

Jon B · · Unknown Hometown · Joined Dec 2007 · Points: 105

Pooler......Poooler..............Poooooler..........

Shit, he's lost again!

Eli Kramer · · Saratoga Springs, NY · Joined Aug 2009 · Points: 40

No worries pooler, if you haven't been lost in the Dacks then you haven't really been there. Next time put all your gear IN the pack, anything outside is asking for trouble :)

Ross Purnell · · Palmyra · Joined Aug 2007 · Points: 766

. . . it takes him 4 days to tell a story, little wonder it takes him 5 hours to hike to the crag.

Will Butler · · Lyons, CO · Joined Sep 2005 · Points: 56

This is hilariously bad.

Joel M · · Brevard, NC · Joined Nov 2008 · Points: 35
Ross Purnell wrote: . . . it takes him 4 days to tell a story, little wonder it takes him 5 hours to hike to the crag.
I wouldn't be surprised if it took more than 4 days to tell the story...
Adam Derick Andrade · · Silverton, CO · Joined Sep 2009 · Points: 80
Will Butler wrote:This is hilariously bad.
Guideline #1: Don't be a jerk.

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