Too many made up terms

Pick up a copy of "Mountaineering: Freedom of the Hills". This may not have all the terms, but it will have all the standard terms and is a knowledge foundation for all types of climbing.

Dude, just the other day I asked my bro to gimme a catch while I sent this sickass .12c XRS offy at the Woo. Anyhoo, I was gastoning and ringlocking a nice fingy up the arête just after my bud gave me a holler “SEND IT BRO!!!” After smearing a dihedral into a left facing corner I mantled onto a sloper after missing the chicken head when I peeled and flossed the sky on a 50’ whipper! My leg got caught in the rope so it flipped me and then when I hit the wall below the roof of course off went all my friends, wallnuts and aliens as well as my ATC and TCU’s! POW! Shoulda wore a brain bucket ‘cuz my noggin is ringin’ today. Careful when liebacking the flakes on pitch 3 as well, but I don’t wanna suss the beta or spray too much so I’ll leave it at that.

The other day I was talking to a mortgage lender, and they kept throwing out all this slang like ARMs, good faith estimates, points, ext. What a bunch of elitist pricks. He told me I should go with a 30 year Fixed and I asked him why anyone would jug a fixed rope thats been fixed there for 30 years. Besides, I'm sure someones figured out a free variation by now, even if it does involve a lot of ARM bars and good-faith-only pro.

Maybe he was one of those adventure racer dudes. Don't they get points for jugging fixed ropes faster?

I don't know, I was climbing with a bunch of newbies the other day and the lingo was flying around like you wouldn't believe. I was getting questions like:

"Can you teach me to use your clippy thingys to take down the belts and slide back down the rope with my new tuber?"

"How many half moon catches do you take with you up that rock route?"

And one of the most baffling questions: "I'll need some of your alpha-beta to climb that fifty eight."

Has anyone ever heard of a half moon catch? If we're going to be effective teachers we need to be able to communicate with beginners, some kind of translative guide could go a long way.

Yowza, sick tales hardmen,
But check this bros…
Yarding heavy undercling on a fridge-size hanging block
After some serious h-dog because I totally pumped out
Getting to an old manky clip after planting sickly sketch pro between
Pretty much stitched it up because I was feeling soft
Straight trundled the block
Buttered off, serious pucker-factor, grabbed major air clearing my cord
Catted the wall, tweaked my ankle, then that manky button-head blew
Rope-gun was Edwin-ing at the belay to give me a catch and avoid the block as I sang ROCK
Rubber-band dyno stop out of that Beal 9.1
All good…
Sacked-up and tried to get back on
My right hoof was gone so bailed leaving serious booty
My second was gumby jiggy-leg sweat-hand and couldn’t follow
Weak-stick…

hang on a sec, I still can't figure this out; how do they get that rope up there?

If this is what is going on in the forums, it must be too cold to climb outside.

"How many half moon catches do you take with you up that rock route?"

This is a tricky one, it's when you snag your ass-covers (pants) before reaching full moon.

Miguel,
My thoughts are you don't need to know what the name of a stem or layback is to do it. When your on a route the experimentation about how to make vertical progress is the best way to learn and progress in skill. I'm guessing your a better climber than you realize based on your post. keep at it.

You definitely have to learn by practicing (and certainly getting it wrong a few times)... but here's another supplement to review when it's rainy or cold:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloss…

Bonus points if you intentionally use awesome-sounding terms incorrectly... using "snarg" as an adjective is my personal favorite. (e.g: "that lead was totally snargy!")

You could say that with real words too, "that lead was totally snarky!" all though it does personify it.

I have to admit that I was confused when I started. The guide books even threw me off when some of them differentiated between Friends and Cams.